Funbari Clippings
by Setsumi-san
Summary: A collection of Mankin nanofics [55 word or less ficlets] involving weird mayo stains, RyuxTamao cuteness, and angry Star Wars nerds [For Falcon Strife]
1. Mayo

**Funbari Clippings**

A Mankin Nanofic Collection by Setsumi-san

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Shaman King. I do not, never have, and never will plan to make any money off of this fanfic.

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**Dedication:** Falcon Strife, who was sweet enough to write Fluff and Stuff for me, and all of my other loyal fans

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**Quotable Quotes: **"You seem to be able to wield your sword better than I do, despite the fact that I'm making up this line completely."-Griffith/Kevin Collins, English Berserk Outtakes

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And now, some more nuttiness from... 

**The 4th Wall**

"Hey Setsumi," says Horohoro, "How are you going to be able to make The 4th Wall amusing without making it longer than this chapter?"

I silently ponder the question for a second... and then slap Horohoro in the head with a live trout.

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**Chapter One: Mayo**

It was a typical beautiful day at Funbari Onsen. The sun shone as brightly as a golden coin, sparrows twittered merrily, and Anna Kyoyama had just angrily stomped into the backyard.

"Alright! Who spilled mayonnaise all over our good couch?" she snapped.

Yoh and Manta, who were sitting outside, turned red as tomatoes.


	2. Expose

**Chapter Two: Expose**

**Quotable Quotes:** "I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I did something stupid I'd have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity."-Chris Rock

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More madness from...

**The 4th Wall**

"Why are you writing an Amidamaru and Kino nanofic?" Horohoro asks.

"Because Falcon Strife likes them and because crack pairings rock. HA! Get it? They "rock!" " I cackle.

"I think _you're_ the one who needs a fish across the kisser," he grumbles.

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Amidamaru knew most itakos were supposed to be blind and also knew most blind people did not like to expose their disabled eyes to the world. Yet… 

He wished that Kino Asakura would show hers more often. For, as crazy as it sounded, he thought those eyes were lovelier than Athena's.


	3. Jitters

**Chapter Three: Jitters**

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**Quotable Quotes:** "It is against my religion to be eaten by reptiles!"-Hadji Singh

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And now, it's time to smell the lemony fresh scent of... 

**The** **4th Wall **

"Yay! I've finally updated," I gleefully squeal.

"It certainly took you long enough, you bitch,"grumbles Ren.

"Hey, I have a part-time job now! It's exhausting!"

"That's your way of saying: "I'll work my ass off at a job I detest for minimum wage, but am too lazy to type one or two sentences for my loyal audience."

"Nuh-uh! It's my way of saying: "I'll work my ass off at a job I detest for minimum wage, but am too lazy _and busy_ to type one or two sentences for my loyal audience."

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"Do I make you nervous, Tamao-chan?" Ryu flirtatiously asked. 

"N-N-No! Wh-Why do you think that, Ryu-san?" she stammered.

"Because you just mixed the salt up with Cascade," he said.

The prophetess squeaked, blushed, and dropped the dishwashing powder on the kitchen counter.


	4. Just Souper

**Chapter Four: Just Soup-er**

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**Quotable Quotes:** "The guilty think all talk is of themselves."-Geoffrey Chaucer

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Ren looked at the plate of crunchy food in front of him and shuddered with disgust.

"Why don't you like the casserole Jun made for you, Ren?" Yoh asked.

"It's supposed to be soup," the Chinese boy muttered.

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Hide the children, because now it's time for...

**The 4th Wall**

"Why are you moving The Fourth Wall to the bottom of the page, Setsumi?" Horohoro inquires.

"I dunno. It just doesn't look right for it to be at the top when I'm writing a nanofic. Don't worry; it's only temporary," I tell him.

Horohoro stares at me as if I've grown a second head.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"Y-You almost _never _finish your commentaries without acting goofy or fangirling over some bishonen," he stammers.

"HOLY CRAP, YOU'RE RIGHT! I gotta say something fast! Um...Amidamaruissexonlegs!" I blurt before running away in embarassment.

"I don't understand what she just said, but I'm guessing it's something close to 'Please review,' "the bluenette tells the audience.


	5. The Power of the Dork Side

**Chapter Five: The Power of the Dork Side**

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**Disclaimer: **I own neither Shaman King nor Star Wars.

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**Quotable Quotes**

"Go back to Endor, you stupid Wookie!"

"Wookies don't live on Endor!"- Cartman and Kyle, South Park

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"I'm sorry…_what_ is stuck in your friend's rectum again?" one of the doctors in the Patch ER asked. 

Chocolove flushed and murmured, "A plastic lightsaber."

"H-How did this _happen_?" the doctor stammered.

"Let's just say Ren's learned never to tell a Star Wars geek, 'Get a life! It's just a fucking _movie._' again," answered Horohoro.

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And now, for the part of Setsumi's fics nobody gives a crap about... 

**The 4th Wall**

Horohoro glances up at the chapter's quotes and asks, "Hey Setsumi, where _do_ Wookies live?"

"I think-Hey, wait a minute! If you think my being a fanfic writer automatically makes me a hopeless geek who knows everything about fandoms like Star Wars or Lord of the Rings ...well...you're right. Their homeworld is a planet called Kashyyyk," I sadly say.

"Don't worry. _I_ don't care if you're a nerd."

"Thanks, Horo."

"I don't care if you haven't got any fashion sense either."

"Uh...thank you."

"...Or care if you're weak and skinny."

"Do you care about being ambulatory?"

"Huh? Of course I do."

"Then shut _up_ and let the people review!"


	6. Don't Forget About Trucks

**Chapter Six: Don't Forget About Trucks.**

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**Quotable Quotes: **"I don't do drugs, my dreams are frightening enough."- M.C. Escher

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"Horohoro, what are guys _really_ thinking about?" Lily sheepishly asked. 

"Food, sleep, and sex," he answered.

"That's _it?_"

" Of course not! We like big trucks too!"

A tiny smile crept across her normally serious face. Guys were simple, but they were simple in a cute way…especially Horohoro.

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Wipe your feet, because I don't want anybody getting mud stains here on… 

**The 4th Wall **

"You know what's scary about this chapter?" I say.

"What?" asks Horohoro between mouthfuls of popcorn.

"The conversation is almost identical to one I had with my brother."

"_Eeeyuck_! Thanks Setsumi! Now I'll never be able to finish this popcorn!"

" I know. I said that just to get the rest of your snack for myself. Anyway, review everybody!"


	7. Galaxy

**Chapter Seven: Galaxy**

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**Quotable Quotes:** "Okay guys, once I close this door I'll be gone for a couple of scenes so I won't know shit."- Sanji, Dub Piece (English One Piece fan dub)

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"Did I tell you about the indie filmmaker I knew named Azul?" Pyron said.

"No," Jun replied.

"Her motto was 'galaxy.' "

"Huh?"

" I _think_ she meant artists should immerse theirselves in a galaxy of creativity."

Jun was speechless.

"Believe me, a movie's most interesting characters are usually off-screen," he muttered.

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Don't click the back button or you'll miss… 

**The 4th Wall**

"I want to tell my friends in the indie industry that this was written for laughs in case any of them are reading this," I state.

"HA! You're only being politically correct because you don't want them to break a camera over your head like last time," Horohoro scoffs.

"Ugh! Will you guys please review before Señor Blabbermouth can embarrass me again?" I request.


	8. Jitters II

**Chapter Eight: Jitters II**

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**Quotable Quotes:** "Being normal is highly overrated."- My friend Ana

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Bokuto no Ryu was definitely not a coward. He'd led a gang, clashed against ferocious rapids, and been possessed by many evil spirits. Yet he was in a fancy restaurunt with his girlfriend, Tamao, sweating bullets. 

_Come on, get a grip! Proposing to her can't be **this** scary,_ he scolded himself.

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Hurry! You only have a few seconds to go get a sandwich before it's time to start... 

**The 4th Wall**

"Okay everybody, I have to tell you that I am now an official Mermaid Melody Pichi Pichi Pitch fan. This anime is so friggin' awesome!" I squeal.

"Isn't it a magical girl show? I thought you hated that genre," Horohoro remarks.

"I lied," I sheepishly confess, "Anyway, you might like this anime even if you aren't normally a fan of the genre because it skips the annoying origin stories. I geniuinely enjoy it."

"...mainly because you have a crush on the villan named Mikeru," Ren adds.

"Hey, psychotic fallen angels are sexy!" I yell.

"Will you guys please give us your feedback before Setsumi goes into psycho defensive fangirl mode?" Horohoro asks.

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	9. In Your Dreams

**Chapter Nine: In Your Dreams**

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**Quotable Quotes:** "That's (a shark attack is) not news! When a shark comes out of the water, walks into a seven-eleven, and bites you in the ass, _then_ it's news!"-Carlos Mencia

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"Help me unhook my bra," Jun begged, "I can't do it because of my broken arm." 

"Okay!" Ryu squeaked.

He yelped when the undergarment completely slid off and exposed her rosy breasts.

"It's okay," Jun purred, "I _want-_"

"...to know why you're dreaming about _my_ neesan!" Ren's voice boomed.

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Well, shoot the horse and call me Ethel! It's time for...

**The 4th Wall**

Horohoro enters and yells, "Hey Setsumi, I kind of broke yo-Setsumi? Where are you?"

"She couldn't make it today because she's bedridden," Yoh explains.

"Yow! What happened?"

"Lee Pyron read this chapter."

"Oh. Well, I guess there's only one thing left to do."

"Ask the readers for feedback?"

"No, try to frame Ryu for breaking Setsumi's television."

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	10. The Catch

**Chapter Ten: The Catch**

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**Quotable Quotes:** "I've had it with these muthafuckin' snakes on this muthafuckin' plane!"-Neville Flynn, Snakes On A Plane

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"Anna, how would you and Yoh like to join our swanky new local club for just one dollar?" Silva offered. 

"Only a dollar? What's the catch?" Anna asked.

"There's no catch," he insisted.

Karim walked up and said, "Hey Silva, have you sold any memberships to the nudist club yet?"

**The End**

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Always wear your seatbelt when reading... 

**The 4th Wall**

I shove a post-it note into Horohoro's face and coolly say, "Guess what? I just came home and found this on what is left of my TV."

It reads: _Dear Setsumi,_

_ Horohoro didn't bust your TV. I did._

_ Sincerely, __Ryu_

_ P.S. Really!_

"The culprit must think I'm _really_ stupid," I hiss.

"L-Look," the bluenette stammers, "I can exp-"

"If Ryu thinks a simple note can make this all better, he's **DEAD WRONG!** I'm going to **KILL** him!"

_This is one of the strangest ways Setsumi has ever ended a fic,_ Ren thinks, disgusted.

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End file.
